Monday 4 March 2013


This style guide uses some rules on how to dress like a fucking man.   That’s not an umbrella he’s got, that’s a shitty stick for beating off the ladies!

Mayfair 
02 / 03

Rules

2. Your collar shapes your face. You’re looking for balance here. If you have a face that looks like it’s been hit hit with a spade, try to steer clear of wide cut collars. Likewise, if you’ve got a face like a horse, avoid tall thin collars. The whole point of putting clothes on is to bring the eye up to the face. Strong structured collars make you look important; small soft collars make you look like you shop at Asda.

10. No turn ups. This excludes jeans, but if you want to foreshorten your leg, making your body appear longer, and in turn making you look like an extra from Willow, go ahead, be my guest, you fucking weirdo.

23. Be consistent. Pick one style at a time and stick to it. You will not look a bit zany, if you put trainers on with a tux, you will look like a prick.

34. Your jacket lapels effect your body shape.  By the shape of your lapels will exaggerate the shape of your body.  By moving the points, shape and size of the lapels you can enhance, or play down body shapes.  If you’re tall and thin, lower wider points will exaggerate the upside down triangle.  If your short, raising the points and bringing them in will imply height.



I like to have 3 rules to help explain my incoherent rants.  It kind of keeps me on track, gives the piece a little structure.  This guy made it very difficult, I seriously could have picked over 30 rules that could have been relevant.  Pay attention boys, this is man is very well dressed!

Let’s start at the top.  A medium contrast face to hair colour, so further down there are medium contrasts through out his outfit; the contrast in colour and texture in his jacket lapels, the contrast between shirt and tie and the difference between jacket and trousers.  Contrasts don’t just have to be in colour, texture can also create the difference.   

The collar detail makes you look at his face (as we’ve discussed before, the most important part of any outfit).  It is great because it frames his face, the detailoing is subtle and different.  This guy’s height meant he wasn’t going to start for the Celtics or the Lakers, but by having a high wide collar it gives him a bit extra height, then by having the jacket pull in a bit round the waist it gives him shoulders and creates the upside down triangle.  Throw on some straight trousers that barely break, his legs look longer and leaner.  

Go on, look at him and think of what sentence he may be saying right now.  It’s probably has words like; cuba, consignment, succulent, harem, voluptuous in it.  Now look at yourself, what words would be in your sentence; Slough, box, chicken, balaclava, Brian?  You can’t judge a book by it’s cover, but you can tell if it’s a comic or a thriller.   



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